In 2008 eleven of my friends and I walked the 78 mile long Dales Way footpath to raise money for the Joseph Salmon trust, a charity founded by our friends Neil and Racheal in memory of their son Joseph who died when he was just 3 years old.
The Joseph Salmon Trust provides financial support to parents who have lost a child. This may be to help with funeral costs or to allow the self employed a break from work while they come to terms with their loss.
The best way to explain how important the work they do is is by telling you about one of the families that the charity helped. All of the information I’m about to give you is in the public domain and has been featured in the local paper. The details of people helped by the Trust is obviously usually confidential, but the family chose to go public in order to publicize the charity.
Twelve year old Jordan was found hanged in his bedroom by his 19 year old sister. Shortly beforehand he’d had an argument with her about who was going to walk their dogs. His family believe that he’d done it as a practical joke, but that it went tragically wrong. There was no evidence that he was troubled, and he had been talking enthusiastically about upcoming events.
Jordan’s mum, Carole, was at work when she got a telephone call from her daughter.
“She was hysterical,” Carole said. “All I could make out were the words ‘Jordan’, ‘ambulance’ and ‘dead’. I remember it so clearly. I was standing there and my legs just gave way and I ended up in a heap on the floor. I sat there for a good five minutes not able to move. Deep down I knew he had gone.”
Carole’s daughter moved out of the house shortly after Jordan’s death, too traumatized by what happened to cope with staying. Carole was left alone in what had been a busy and happy home.
“Even now, sometimes I still look out of the window at 3.30pm expecting to see him come in from school. It’s like he has gone to his friend’s for a few minutes. It’s like I’m looking down on someone else going through this, it doesn’t seem real. The thought of never seeing him again is just unbearable.”
For a while she considered suicide herself, but was helped struggle on by the help of her friends and family.
And this is where the Jospeh Salmon Trust came in. Carol is a single mum who works as a care assistant. She would have struggled to meet the costs of the funeral on her own.
“A headstone is so expensive and like most parents you don’t really make provisions for your child’s death. I’ve got life insurance but you don’t think about using it for your children – you don’t expect them to die before you.”
Neil told me that because the charity’s bank account had been so boosted by the money raised by the walk they were able to pay for Jordan’s headstone; two thousand pounds that Carole would have found it hard to find otherwise. They were able to help Carole meet the final needs of her son, something invaluable in helping her cope with her grief.
It is testament to how important the Trust’s help was to Carol that she decided that she herself wanted to help raise funds for the charity. In a fundraiser at the village hall Carole, her daughter, and her friends raised £2200, which not only matched but exceeded the money the Trust gave her.
“In one respect I was so grateful to the trust because I just didn’t have the finances to be able to cover it.” said Carole “But in another way this was the last thing I could do for Jordan and I’m so happy that I can give this money to help someone who finds themselves in my position in future.”
I met Carole and her daughter last year as I agreed to take some photo’s of them presenting a check to Neil to send to the local paper. The respect and admiration I have for them is immense. And while Carole has effectively “paid back” the money the Trust gave her, the charity would never have been able to grant her money in the first place if it wasn’t for the generous donations by people who sponsored us on our walk.
We raised over £6000 back in 2008. in 2010 we hope to raise even more.
